Or maybe you’re like me and let the whole resolution frenzy pass you by. Once I saw the very short shelf life resolutions have, my attitude became: why bother?
But I never gave up on self care.
Rather than jumping to make promises you know you won’t keep, let’s explore the reasons for making self care resolutions. What good is self care, anyway?
Well, a lot of good, actually. Self care is the care only you can give yourself; if you don’t do it, it won’t get done. And we know what happens to things we don’t take care of…
Rather than being a drudge, self care makes you more fun to be, doesn’t it?
When you take care of yourself, you feel better. When you feel better, you function better. You’re more creative, less reactive. And not only are you your better self, self care also makes you a better family member, a better friend, a better partner, co-worker, citizen.
Self care is your social responsibility. And self care is part of your every day.
You already have a number of self care resolutions in place. Brushing your teeth, for example. Not flossing–too big a stretch for some of us–just brushing, a simple act of self care you practice at least twice a day and wouldn’t dream of skipping.
Why do you brush your teeth? Likely for both the immediate payoff–your mouth tastes better–and the long term benefit–keeping your pearly whites as long as possible.
Let’s not stop at brushing your teeth. What other self care do you practice routinely, and why? What would it take to expand that circle of care?
Your most valuable self care is not an occasional extravagance; it’s lifestyle, small things you practice every day.
Self care has to be practiced consistently. No matter how many times you brush your teeth today, you still need to brush them tomorrow. And the day after.
You know one yoga class won’t cure your aching back. A single meditation might relieve the headache you have now, but it won’t keep you from getting another one eventually.
How do you go from making a self care resolution to building a self care habit? Start with something you enjoy, and don’t go whole hog. Try under-doing it.
Want a meditation habit? Don’t start with hour sessions.
Start by sitting up in bed for five minutes before you jump into your day. Five minutes is short enough to be doable, and long enough to start your day from a more settled space. You can start by listening to this.
In this culture, a commitment to self care is so bold, it’s revolutionary. But it’s a sweet, gradual, peaceful revolution.
If you want to be happier and healthier, to live your life with a sense of well-being, make one small act of self care today. Pay attention as you take care of yourself. Notice the details of how you feel. Then stay with that feeling a moment longer.
Don’t expect an overnight turnaround. Savor the experience rather than judging the results. Be willing to build your happiness and health the time-tested old-fashioned way, step-by-step, choice-by-choice.
Pay attention to your routine acts of self care. Enjoy being right there with yourself.
Paying attention heightens the benefit. And helps you notice that when you feel better, you function better and you make better choices–choices that keep you feeling better and functioning better.
Self care is an act of slow, relentless revolution. Let’s start the revolution now, or rather, soon. First pause to list your personal reasons, the reasons you’ll return to for inspiration to sustain your revolution.
I practice daily self care because I enjoy my life and I want to still be fun when I’m 101.
I’m more than half way there, and as the years accumulate, I’ve noticed in some ways, age makes it easier to be fun. And in other ways, age makes it harder. Daily self care makes the harder ways easier.
Now it’s your turn. Please share your personal self care reasons, the ones that really motivate you, the ones you can remember in the moment when you need support.
You can find those reasons anywhere in your life. You might even find them in your family, perhaps your (grand)kids–those you have or those you hope to have.
Please share your most motivating reason in a comment below. Who knows, your reason might inspire someone else to find theirs!
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After you share your comment, here are some gifts and tips to make your self care easier:
Even listening to a guided meditation provides a few minutes of effective self care. Here’s a free breath meditation from my Meditate CD.
Keeping healthy, compassionate boundaries is good for you and everyone around you. Learn tips on my free Blessed Boundaries intro. Register here to participate live or by replay.
Reiki is by far the easiest, most accessible self care practice. Basic Reiki self care is easy to learn, but you need to choose carefully as there are no standards for Reiki training or education. Click here for the information you need to make a meaningful Reiki connection.
]]>Yom Kippur is a serious holiday even for Jews who are not observant and don’t fast. Here on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, many stores are closed. This day of atonement brings an unusual quiet to the heart of New York City.
As it should. Atonement is serious, and seriously necessary.
Yet other than Yom Kippur, who makes time to stop and look past the obvious, to review and atone on a regular basis? I’m sorry to say I don’t. Do you?
This year, I’m atoning for neglecting you. I’ve missed being in touch. And it doesn’t feel good that I didn’t keep my word.
I don’t know why you signed up for my blog posts, but I do know I’ve let you down. My last post was January 29. AARGH.
What happened? Short answer: I really don’t know. 2017 happened.
My goal was to blog here once a month and blog Reiki once a month. Well, that sure didn’t happen. I’ve barely blogged monthly since January, and it’s been all Reiki.
Now I love my Reiki practice and I’m deeply grateful to mentor Reiki home and professional practitioners around the world. But I started practicing yoga and meditation as a kid, and what matters most to me — living with heart — is about more than Reiki practice.
The support I offer my private clients is broader and deeper than Reiki practice (which is why I refer to our time together as comprehensive healing sessions, not Reiki sessions). This was where I planned to offer you that kind of support.
I have managed to live this year with heart — no small triumph — but not to share it with you.
For that, I apologize.
Please know I didn’t forget you. I haven’t expressed it, but you’ve been in my thoughts and my heart, and my determination to do better in the coming year (somehow September seems more like the start of a new year than January does!).
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Not the outside center where you feel the support of your community — although that’s also a good idea — but your inside center, that state where you feel like your true self, the steady, grounded version of yourself that might now seem like a distant memory.
You’ve heard a lot about the fight or flight response. There is a third way you can experience the stress response: you can freeze, unable to respond at all.
Winston Churchill advised, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
But how can you soldier on when you feel frozen, your nerves are frayed, you’re not sleeping well, and you see your stamina draining moment by moment?
These times are made for spiritual practice.
When times are tough, it actually becomes easier to experience the gentle transformative power of spiritual practice. Even a brief practice will refresh you and move you towards your center, and brief practice repeated daily can literally transform your life.
All you have to do is actually practice (it’s not enough to just think about practicing).
Spiritual practice creates the habit of transformation, of strategic retreat. You back out of the chaos and into your stillness.
I live in New York City in what has lately been referred to as the United States of Anxiety. I practice Reiki and meditation daily, and yoga most days. That’s how I go beyond coping to experience peace and find my creativity.
Even with decades of daily spiritual practice, I can hardly wait to lead the Heart of Practice Reiki Retreat because I know six days of practice in a natural setting will take me even deeper and refresh me more profoundly than my home practice does. And there’s science to support that wellness weeks create lasting benefit. (If you are thinking of joining us, early retreat fees end Saturday, February 4.)
I know coming to Mexico might not be an option for you right now. That’s why I’m leading Blessed Boundaries, a retreat you can do at home, in 20-30 minutes a day, on your schedule, with unlimited online support from me and an international community of people like you reaching for their center.
Maybe you cannot join us for Blessed Boundaries, but surely you can watch the free introduction. You’ll learn five different, simple practices for free, practices you can start using immediately to quickly improve your state. We practice them together and you can continue practicing on your own. Or revisit the recording as many times as you want. And did I mention it’s free?
We can’t create the world we envision without a commitment to finding our center every day, and returning to center throughout the day.
These times are made for spiritual practice. If you want to transform your world, the first step is to transform your own state. Please join me.
]]>Pause now for a moment of happiness.
How to do that? It’s so simple. Just take a moment and smile. Not at anyone, not for any reason. Just smile to enjoy the feeling a smile brings. Feel your smile move through you. Feel your radiance.
Did you ever imagine happiness could be so easy?
Well, there is one small catch. Happy New You is not a choice you make once and done. It’s a choice you make every day, at least once a day. It’s a practice.
You want to be good at being happy, don’t you? Practice is how you get good at something, by practicing, and practicing regularly. Did I mention, every day? As in being happy every day, at least for a moment.
When you practice happiness consistently, your practice becomes a habit, a very good habit, one that links you to your happiness. The path to happiness becomes one you know very well.
When your life includes the Happy New You habit, your life is transformed. When you are happy, you make choices that help you stay happy.
And when you practice happiness consistently, other less savory habits naturally weaken.
You don’t need another resolution to break; you need an easy habit to support you. One you can start now and enjoy anytime you want. A happiness habit.
Here are two free supports for your Happy New You practice. Please choose one — or both!
21 Days of Happiness emails help you start your Happy New You whether or not you have any experience with spiritual practice.
A month of daily self-Reiki support is for everyone who has been trained to practice Reiki in any lineage or practice style.
Happiness starts with clear, compassionate boundaries. The boundary you set around your Happy New You practice, for example. Need help with that? Join me for Blessed Boundaries.
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